Letters to The Boring Desk

To the editor: Your reporter quoted me at length and not entirely out of context. I would, however, like the record to reflect that I have not, as suggested by the article, “stopped.” I have paused. The pauses are strategic. They are also, I will concede, getting longer.

The cap, as your subsequent reporting noted, has now begun to move. I do not have a comment on this except to say that I have a comment on this and my attorney has asked me not to make it.

To the editor: A correction. The figure of ninety-four dollars was, at the time of your reporting, accurate. It is no longer accurate. The figure is now one hundred and twenty seven dollars. I would also like to note that the publication of your article materially advanced my work, in the sense that twenty-eight readers donated to a Telegram address I have been maintaining and the entirety of those donations have, in the two weeks since, been twisted. The bar is approximately one tenth of one percent lower because of you. Thank you.

To the editor: I object, mildly, to the framing of the spectator-to-spender ratio as “forty to one.” In my own household it is two to two. My partner watches and I watch and neither of us bumps. We consider ourselves a complete domestic ecosystem of the bar. We would like the record to reflect that the spectators do, in fact, contribute, in a non-monetary sense, to the cycle. We are the audience. The audience is part of the show. We will continue our work.

To the editor: I read the column with interest and a small professional grudge. The author's claim that boring.nowis the “cleanest microeconomic object” produced in a decade overstates the case considerably. Two-sided ad markets, certain commodity options, and arguably the parking-meter system in our shared metro area are also clean microeconomic objects. The bar at boring.now is, however, the funniest. I will give you that.

To the editor: When the cap moved I had three windows open and did not understand what I was looking at for several minutes. I want to say in print, while I have the chance, that the phrase “adjust because of economy bro” is now my desktop wallpaper. I have shown it to nine separate colleagues. Two of them did not get it. I am no longer speaking to those two colleagues. The work continues.

To the editor: Just a small note that the patron in the third carrel has, since publication of the blotter, sent a handwritten thank-you card and a tin of shortbread. He asked us to forward his regards to the desk. He has not stopped coming in. He is, in fact, here as I write. He does not appear to read this paper. He appears to read only the one page.

To the editor: My fiance read the piece and asked me what I was thinking. I told him. He nodded and then asked if I had checked the bar today. I said three times. He said okay. He is reading this letter over my shoulder. He says hi.