Bay Area Heir Attempts Solo Conquest of Internet's 'Most Pointless' Website

A 28-year-old self-described “boring maximalist” has begun spending hundreds of dollars to single-handedly drag a public progress bar to 100%. Onlookers, so far, have not intervened.

SAN FRANCISCO — A man who identifies himself online only as TrustFundTrevor has, in the span of a single afternoon, become the largest individual contributor in the brief history of boring.now, a website that does nothing.

The site, launched earlier this week, consists of a single horizontal progress bar. Visitors may pay one United States dollar to advance the bar by one one-hundredth of one percent. There is no prize. There is no leaderboard reward. There is no underlying product. The bar resets when it reaches 100%, after a 60-second celebration that plays for whoever happens to be looking at it.

Trevor, who declined to provide his legal name but confirmed by email that he is the beneficiary of a “reasonably normal” family trust, has so far executed three of the site’s largest available payment bundles, advancing the bar by approximately three percent at a personal cost of $240. He intends to continue.

“I think it would be funny if I just won it. I have the money. Nobody else seems to be paying attention. The bar is going to one hundred percent eventually, and when it does, my name is the one that’s going to be on it forever.”

Trevor’s stated goal — to be recorded as the inaugural “finisher” on a website with no users — would, by the site’s own pricing, cost roughly $9,760 from his current position. He described this figure as “a Tuesday.”

The operators of boring.now did not respond to a request for comment, but the site does include a feature that appears designed for exactly this scenario: a button labeled twist, which, for $0.50, moves the bar backwardby one one-thousandth of one percent. A coordinated group of approximately two hundred users twisting in unison could, in theory, undo a single one of Trevor’s largest bundles in under a minute.

As of press time, no such group has assembled.

Dr. Marian Holbrook, a digital sociologist not affiliated with this publication, characterized the situation as “a small but unusually clean test of whether the modern internet is still capable of collective irritation.” She declined to predict the outcome.

Reached for a final comment, Trevor was asked whether he would reconsider his attempt if the public mobilized against him. He replied: “They won’t.”

The bar is currently live. It is going up.